“I Wish You Were A Vampire”

Whitley | July 28, 2009 | No Comments

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One of my favorite blogs to read when I need to kill time is F My Life. Readers of the site submit a horrible, hilarious, or shocking event that happened to them, condense it into two sentences, and then end it with “FML”, which (as I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now) translates to, “Fuck My Life”. At the bottom of each entry, readers of the site can express themselves by saying, “I agree, your life sucks.” or “You totally deserved it.” There are thousands of entries and this website is a great distraction when you have time to kill.

As I was browsing last night, I got quite a kick out of this entry and I think you will too.

“Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, “I wish you were a vampire” and goes back home. FML”

I can pretty (frighteningly) easily understand this happening, since the people in the story are (hopefully, please God) very young, like in junior high or something, and this girl just hasn’t learned to not say things like this actually out loud (/jokesss). The girl who said this is pretty obviously a Twi-hard.

My favorite part about this entry (and this applies to the vast majority of the ones I’ve read) is that as I’m writing this, over 5,000 people voted, “You totally deserved it”. What is the thought process behind that? “Oh yeah, you totally deserved that because you should have actually BEEN Edward Cullen/a vampire/acting like that.”

BTW, don’t read too many comments on that entry. It will kill your soul.

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